A reader recently submitted the results of a Washington Post contest that asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.Here are a few of the the winners:
- Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
- Ignoranus : A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
- Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
- Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
- Bozone ( n..): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
- Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
- Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
- Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
- Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
- Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
- Karmageddon : It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
- Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
- Glibido : All talk and no action.
- Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
- Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
- Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
- Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
The Interweb Gazette is now extending this contest to YOU! The rules are simple: Either slightly change an existing English word and apply a new definition or take a real word and just reinvent the definition. Just post your ideas in the comment box below (your email address will be used solely for the purposes of this competition).
The First-Place prize is a FREE mattress (shown above)!!!!!
http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/zip/1100005291.html !!!! (It is one year old, great condition, only slight smell of urine).
Here are some more examples to get you thinking:
Scrotinize (v.): To Investigate, examine, and study–right down to the balls.
Inntards (n.): Tiny retarded elves that live inside you.
Aftermath (n.): A time of innumerable joy.
Assthetic (adj.): Big and sexy ambiance
Have fun and Good Luck!
Friday, April 3rd, 2009, 10:10 am | 
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April 3, 2009 at 11:11 am
Hickey (n): Vampire training wheels.
Jewdling (v): A small drawing that lowers your credit score.
Mathapathetic: The exact moment while reading a math problem you realize you don’t give a shit about math.
Optim-obama-istic: The belief that one man has the ability to fix everything. (See: God, religion)
Mobile atchoophobia: Fear of sneezing while driving.
Double negative (n): Two ugly people kissing in public.
Douchenomics: The measurement of assholes in a given night when going out to bars (See: DPI: Douche Per Inch, popped collar, Vin Diesel)
April 3, 2009 at 2:17 pm
neil patrick harrassment – self explanatory, as fun as it sounds. goes by the same name whether given or received.
brandeish – to shake or wave a gavel menacingly
procrasturbation – the real reason things don’t get done on time.
cripster – member of a hipster gang. often wields numerous scarves and neon colored glasses. characteristic “cripster walk” induced by testicular discomfort as a result of wearing pants that are way too tight.
boracle – an omniscient being summoned to impart its knowledge upon troubled amnesiacs when even massive doses of sedatives won’t do the trick
epiphony – when you finally come to the realization that you still haven’t figured it out.
chimney sweep – see ENEMA
dolemitis – inflammation of rudy ray moore
madoff – mtv show where hip teens and pop icons battle it out to determine who’s madder.
asshole – see GLENN BECK
April 10, 2009 at 10:21 am
millibuster – an effective way of obstructing a decision within the legislative branch by standing around and ‘bah’ing incessantly
chainese – a poorly/cheaply made chain, forged from the blood, sweat and tears of toddler labor, composed of many (1.4 billion) links.
rasian – an asian raisin
brotund – a healthy male on male friendship between two heavyset, portly fellows.
April 15, 2009 at 12:45 pm
Sniglet — the act of creating a word that isn’t in the dictionary, but should be (or in layman’s terms: creating make up words in English). I am pretty sure Rich Hall will be suing you. He got plenty of time on his hands, if he’s even still alive.
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