Here are a few of the the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus : A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n..): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon : It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

The Interweb Gazette is now extending this contest to YOU! The rules are simple: Either slightly change an existing English word and apply a new definition or take a real word and just reinvent the definition. Just post your ideas in the comment box below (your email address will be used solely for the purposes of this competition).

The First-Place prize is a FREE mattress (shown above)!!!!!

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/zip/1100005291.html !!!! (It is one year old, great condition, only slight smell of urine).

Here are some more examples to get you thinking:

Scrotinize (v.): To Investigate, examine, and study–right down to the balls.

Inntards (n.): Tiny retarded elves that live inside you.

Aftermath (n.): A time of innumerable joy.

Assthetic (adj.): Big and sexy ambiance

Have fun and Good Luck!